Baby Got...Book?

Thanks to Mark Bertrand, I now know what I'm missing.

Before I became a Christian I had no idea how many different kinds of bibles are out there: red letter, blue letter, lines in the margins, lines in the gutters, cross-references in the center or below, commentary for new believers, commentary for old believers, AMPLIFIED...the choices are myriad. (Or should I say 'legion'?) Then there's all the translations, paraphrases...the optional apocrypha...slim bound, gift bound, leather bound heritage version...

The options just boggled my mind.

Worse, imagine coming upon a well-informed fellow Christian who's got an issue with the format you're holding in your hand. (Apparently format wars sputter all over the internet; their combatants seem to be those peace-makers-in-training, bible college and seminary students.) Yes, aesthetic snobbery is alive and well in Christian circles, but often you'll find the sniffing is only over bindings.

All this, and we've yet to read a single word.

Now don't get me wrong. I love the feeling of lovely, quality leather--the suppleness of a thousand pages that flow almost organically as I thumb over them and then lay the book flat on my table. No sound of cracking, no fighting pages that pop into my face as they resist their purpose. I wish I could afford something so lovely. Until then, I'll have to get my Bible jones fix down at Mardels, and hope that the staff doesn't catch me pawing on one of their finest like some tortured soul who was never allowed the comfort of a soft pet in her childhood.

Or I could just laugh along with this video about Bible obsession.

This is for you, Mark.